Wednesday, February 6, 2013

IWSG: Change Is Coming ... What Kind, Though?


The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a mouthy bloghop where writers are welcome to relax, sit or lay down in a chair, and let out their feelings without fear of judgement, and I'd like to thank our host, Alex J. Cavanaugh for keeping this group going for so long. It's been a tremendous help so far, and I'm glad to be a part of this.

What do I have to be insecure about this month? I had a few things in mind, but receiving a contract offer has spun things around and that is what my insecure thought for the month turned into. What? Insecure about getting an offer? I should be bouncing off the walls and shouting from the rooftops. Well, my walls aren't that strong and there's ice on my roof - one slip and no more books from me. I am excited, but I have a good reason to worry.

I was told that, now that I have an offer, my life will never be the same. This is the truth. I've accepted that, but it will never be the same in what way? Before I even thought about it, members of my family warned me not to let this deal get to my head. Others have expressed their concern about an inflated ego. Point is, I've met a lot of amazing authors - many of them from around here are the coolest and most generous people I've ever known - but I have also met authors who are into themselves WAY more than anyone else is.

I have no desire to become that kind of author, or person, and so I make this pledge that no matter what happens from here on, I will stay as I am, an ever-striving to be awesome dude who will do his best to put others first before himself. Honestly, what am I without you guys? I'd be squat. I will never forget that. Yep. I said never.

Have you had this concern before? Have you met someone with an inflated ego? What's your method of curbing your enthusiasm?

I'm David, and how would it be if zombies lived among us?

Walking Dead this Sunday, yo!

41 comments:

  1. You're too down-to-earth to go that route, David. A big WOOHOO to you for your contract. Shrug off the insecurity and wallow in the joy. Life doesn't always dish us up a scoop of success, enjoy it while it's here.

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  2. You ARE down to earth. I don't think you'll ever have that problem. ;) (And yes, I have had friends change when they got their contracts, many for good and couple for bad.)

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  3. Speaking of inflated egos, my 14-year-old daughter had a negative experience with a well-known, award-winning YA author. Short story: daughter had major author project, needed help with 3 questions, emailed the author, who replied with two sentences, one telling her to check her website and the second telling her she "stopped doing homework a long time ago". Regarding inflated egos, unfortunately my daughter knows all too well.

    I'm quite certain, you're different!! Most of us are. Even though it's a legit fear, you must know in your heart you'll never be this way. CONGRATS! and best of luck to you and your contract. :)))

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  4. The very fact that you've seen and been turned off by authors who are totally into themselves is a good sign that you won't become one. I'm so excited for you. Will you be posting a picture of you guys signing the contract?

    I talked hubby into watching the first episode of The Walking Dead. Um. So not his kind of show. He was a good sport and watched it to the end--but only that episode.

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  5. We love you as you are David. And I for one promise to tell you if you seem to start becoming too full of yourself. Though I don't think that will happen since you seem pretty grounded. Oh yeah definitely watching The Walking Dead this Sunday.

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  6. I'm with you, David. When I make it big *hehe* I'm just always going to be me. I pledge right along with you, that I will always try to help other writers and keep my head contained within normal limits.

    It's a good sign that you are already aware of the potential problem!

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  7. I agree with Donna, the fact that these types of authors turn you off shows you are on the right path and won't become so self-absorbed yourself. I have to laugh as I think we writers are the only ones who could find something to be insecure about with signing a contract! I'm glad I'm not the only one. :)

    Congratulations again on your contract!

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  8. My favorite writers are those that appreciate their readers and try to help emerging writers. I hope to be that way when my life "changes". :)

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  9. Very excited for your deal. All the best. You will do great.

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  10. Didn't watch the video. I'm sure it'll be nasty. :)
    Well done on getting a contract!
    If you're even thinking about whether you'll be the same, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

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  11. You are very down to earth. As for curbing my ego, hardly any need. My ego is on life support at the moment, and a swift kick from an agent would pretty much send it over to the dark side. As for other authors way to into themselves, well that's hard to judge from the outside. Maybe they turn things back to them because they don't know how to revel in someone else's awesome. I try to assume the best of people.

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  12. I don't mind authors who are successful and stick to what they know. It really bothers me though that they go and weigh in on things for which I don't think their opinion is valid. For example, Orson Scott Card and Brandon Sanderson continuously weigh in on the gay marriage debate and I want to say to them, "Don't you have a sci-fi or fantasy book to write? With all due respect oh famous author(s), unless you can prove scientifically that being gay is a "choice" and not a condition you are born into, then I think your discriminatory opinion is based on ideology, and I could care less about your "ideology." I read your books because you are first and foremost an author, and it would be wise for you to remember that."

    Honestly, David. I don't think you have anything to be concerned with. You are so humble, and any success (and I hope that it is like Stephanie Meyer huge for you) is deserving because you sir, have put in the time for it.

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  13. I CANNOT wait for Walking Dead!!

    I don't see you ever straying from who you are, but if you do I'm sure there are some followers who will cyber smack some sense into you!

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  14. I was eating a bagel with peanut butter just now when I scrolled down to that zombie image...I feel like puking now! Thanks DPK. :).

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  15. I have met both types of authors, those who are kind and nice and those who have a bit too much ego. I also vowed if I ever get published (and successful) I would not let my feet lose the ground -except during dragon flights of course.

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  16. I agree- you're going to be just fine! I think we have all dealt with people who are too into themselves in many different fields and professions- not just writers- and it is so sad. Here's to be true to yourself! Cheers:)and congrats and best of luck:) Should be a fun ride, looking forward to hearing all about it.

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  17. PS- yay! Walking Dead! I'm excited for it to start up again.

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  18. You're aware of it - that means it will never be an issue.
    Besides, the more success you gain, the bigger difference you can make to others and in the world.
    Your life will change, but how - you must take that path to find out.
    And aren't you glad you joined the IWSG?

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  19. I think, for me, the toughest concern post-offer would be that, up until that point, I've been able to dream about how it could all go. It's not set it stone - I *could* be an NYT besteller, I *could* take over Goodreads in a flash - but once you have that offer and start walking down the road, it becomes reality.

    You can no longer say my book *could* do this, because you have to face what it *will* do and what it *has* done, which might not always match up with those initial dreams and expectations.

    I'd say that's a perfectly good reason for insecurity. :)

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  20. I really can't see you having an inflated ego. I'd be insecure too with a contract wondering if I can make the deadlines and making any advance back because I really don't want anyone losing money on me.

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  21. You are far too down to earth to go that route and you are so aware of it, which already means you won't ;) Enjoy the success!!

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  22. Ohhh I have certainly met a LOT of people who think very highly of themselves...not usually in a writing capacity, but mainly musicians. Some of them aren't even all that. They drive me mad, they can range from just being very pretentious to being cliquey and childish. I'm generally a shy person by nature, and I've always had confidence problems, so generally speaking, I don't think the over-inflated ego problem is too bad for me, although sometimes I do have moments of just thinking "I am awesome" when something goes my way XD
    Of course, nothing wrong with realising your awesomeness, as long as you stay smart about it ;). Sounds to me like you're not the sort of person who's about to turn conceited rock star on everyone, so you'll probably be fine!

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  23. I think there's a fine line between being proud of yourself and having an inflated ego, but I think you're the kind of person who will never step over the line. Be proud of yourself and be proud of that book deal! You've got nothing to worry about.

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  24. i have always been a realist. its more work and credit and kudos go to those who work for it. i am ready for the challenge! i'm sure you are too!

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  25. I thought about it... but then I thought I will cross that bridge when I come to it. I don't want to change--hopefully not wanting to will make it not happen :P

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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  26. I have met a couple of authors like that though the majority I've met are great. It makes it difficult to enjoy reading a book if you don't care for the author on a personal level.

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  27. David, don't worry. If your ego swells, reality will soon puncture it. Getting a book deal doesn't guarantee success. You still have to work damn hard for it! It doesn't guarantee that every book you write will be picked up by an editor. It is a first (and wonderful) step on a new path ... but, it's just a step.

    Yeah, after my first contract, I had visions of quitting my day job. That makes me ROFLMAO now. :)

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  28. First off, congratulations. I didn't know that you had a contract. You are what you are. If you had a "normal" sized ego before the contract, you'll have one afterward.

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  29. I think personality has a lot to do with how a person behaves. You'll always be a wonderful person, no matter how famous you become!

    If Zombies lived among us...scary, but exciting at the same time.

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  30. Well, big heads seep in without you knowing about it, so it's better never to say never.
    However, I'd be surprised if you ran into that problem.

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  31. First, congratulations on your deal! It's the first time I hear about it, so sorry if it's old news around here:)

    And in my personal experience, only those who don't know who they are before they achieve success change with it. If you are sure of yourself, and never lose sight of what's important to you, you'll be ok.

    If putting others before yourself is what makes you feel happy, you keep on doing it. But if you're doing it because you think it's what's expected of you... I don't know. I'm not an authority in the matter, but I do believe, like Ayn Rand once said, egoism has its virtues.

    It's different for everyone, obviously. But if you are true to yourself, and you are commited to your writing, there's no reason for success to change you.

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  32. This is definitely a very hard thing to deal with, and I feel for you, David.

    It's not easy to suddenly be handed the keys to the kingdom, so to speak, and though I'd like to believe Willy Wonka when he said that the man who suddenly got everything he wanted lived happily ever after, I'm not so sure that that's always the case. But, I don't think you should be worried. You're going into this with your feet on the ground, and that's the first step. You're going to do amazing -- and then all of those self-interested authors are going to be jealous that you're so down to earth. :)

    When I get too overzealous, I try and do something fun to unwind, or take a look at the bookstore and see that, hey, you're not the only person out there; you're great, but everyone has their writerly place.

    Best,

    Alexandra~

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  33. The most important part is to remember who you are and where you came from. Don't forget the little people who are in the same place you once were. :) I don't think it will change you to something bad, you are too cool! :)

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  34. I'm not worried that I will change if I become a published author. But I do wonder if I will be under more scrutiny from others if and when I get there.

    You have reached a very sweet part of your writing journey, and I hope you enjoy this.

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  35. Congrats David! You seem humble to me-you know wanting to be the shoe! I don't think it will change you, for the worse! Maybe it will change you for the better-open doors to other options! If you start to feel the change, go volunteer-it will reel you back to YOU!

    Zombies do live among us! I can't wait for Sunday ;D

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  36. I think you will be FINE David. You have your friends and family to GROUND you. It is normal to have a flight of ego from something this exciting. You worked SO HARD, so why not toot you horn a BIT....

    I am sure we have ALL met people with overly iNFLATED EGOS. Geez, I sure have being in the modeling industry for fifteen plus years. And sadly, I admit I was one of them for JUST A WHILE, until life hit me in the gut and brought me back to my senses. That is usually the case. If your family and friends don't get to you LIFE SURELY WILL.

    But knowing you for the time I have, you have NOTHING to worry about. You are a most kind and caring person. Take a breath from time to time when the excitement is ready to EXPLODE out of your body.

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  37. I honestly can't imagine something like a book deal "going to your head"--I don't know you other than on this blog but this is just not you! Anyhow, I do hope you are enjoying the feeling of getting a contract to the utmost!

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  38. I don't know you very well but, from what I've seen on this blog, you are the last guy in the world who would get all egotistical. Coming from an outside perspective, you don't seem like the type who is even wired that way. Enjoy the success, you've earned it!!

    And I cannot wait for Walking Dead on Sunday!!!

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  39. I don't see you letting it go to your head. You aren't going to be anything but totally rad! :D

    3 more days to go and counting until The Walking Dead!! I'm so ready! I <3 Daryl!! lol

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  40. I'm just meeting you today but I love your philosophy! I can't stand when someone's ego overcomes them.

    Perfect timing for Walking Dead too. Football is over!

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  41. Congratulations! The question is, are you going to accept that offer? You didn't actually say so in your post.

    I don't think you could possibly become one of *those* people. The fact that you worry about it means you almost certainly will not. The David I've met is a humble, hard-working man. But I also understand the worry. It's hard to go through any kind of change, and you worry that it will change you for the worse. But experience has shown me that people usually change for the better. :)

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