Your Imago
Nature meant for hearts to yearn.
To attract. To love.
The perfect girl. You know her. She knows you.
She's the One.
Your eyes meet. Your hands clasp.
She is the lacuna to your soul.
At first glance. At first touch. You know.
And she—for just an evening.
An engagement keeps you. She awaits a second rendezvous. The thought of parting makes you oscitate when long miles separate. You have every intention to marry her. Times passes. You return. And you inquire.
But someone else saw her—a stranger to both.
Taken. Shaken. Used. He stole her final breath.
Her life. Lost. Plundered from you.
You gasp. You writhe. You fight and cry. You ask, "Why?" No justice can serve the loss of your only One. Nothing is left. Only shattered mirrors—reflections of what could be, after so many years.
You stare in the fragments spread and see in your lonely eye a happy gleam. Not yours. Hers.
Synchronicity.
You raise your hand to the frame. She does the same.
Your old heart aches. Miasma seizes your air.
You breathe. You fall. She watches.
Her gentle hand you abide.
“We will be,” she whispers, “on the other side."
* * *
There you have it! The second challenge of Rachael Harrie's Platform Building Campaign. 200 words exactly with all the optionals met. This is helping me become a fan of flash fiction. I need to write more of this stuff!Requirements:
Write a blog post in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, whether flash fiction, non-fiction, humorous blog musings, poem, etc. The blog post should:
- include the word "imago" in the title
- include the following 4 random words: "miasma," "lacuna," "oscitate," "synchronicity,"
If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional and included in the word count), make reference to a mirror in your post.
For those who want an even greater challenge (optional), make your post 200 words EXACTLY!
I look forward to all of your excellent entries.
Good luck, my fellow campaigners!
Also, Chantele Sedgwick is Awesome. Why? Because she gave me an interview! And it's a real neat one! Please go check out her amazingly cool place!
I'm David, and I need a tissue ...
Wow, David - you are brilliant! And so on top of it! How'd you get this done so fast? I'm off to look up the target words:)
ReplyDeleteOh David...be still my heart. That was absolutely beautiful and breathtaking. Going over so I can like it.
ReplyDeleteMine is #8 if you wouldn't mind a break from waxing poetic.
Nice throughout the ending clinched it. Photo is nice touch for this;)Good job!
ReplyDeleteThat's a pretty amazing piece of writing. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful. I love the ending. It was intense and emotional. Good job!
ReplyDeleteLove the ending. This is the first poem entry I've seen and I love it.
ReplyDeleteFabulous piece. So much intensity and emotion. Glad that I chose to read this first.
ReplyDeleteI love how you paced this. The ending is beautiful. Great use of the words. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI'm #17 if you're bored, but I'm not as eloquent.
Intense! Emotional! I've seen a whole new side to you. This is great David. You've got my vote!
ReplyDeleteMC - For serious? Cool! You just made my day! :)
ReplyDeleteGwen - I had this idea in mind for a while. Just needed the right words to exploit it. Thank you. Looking forward to your entry!
Angela - Thank you! Always appreciated!
Christy, Richard - Thank you both! :)
Christine, Christine - It didn't start off as a poem, but that's the direction it went. Go with the muse, right? Thanks you two!
K.T. - I plan to read them all. On my way to yours. And thank you for reading me! :)
Abby - You're awesome. I'm more complicated than you think. But then, aren't we all? ;)
powerful and beautiful! Love the poetry, love the prose.
ReplyDeleteMesmerizing. I read this earlier, and had to come back to read it again, and it drew me in even further the second time. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThis is the first poem entry I've read. You've done a wonderful job of it, too. So many Campaigners have employed the mirror in their challenges along with the odd vocabulary - I'm impressed with the differences of ideas and themes within each one. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteOh...and I have to add that I got a kick out of the pic on your side-bar...."Did I Slay Something?" Too funny! ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteDavid,
ReplyDeleteThe poetic aspect of this is awesome. While it's narrative, I was stirred by it the way I often am small bursts of poetry! This is a remarkable entry and a very different one from some of the others I've read so far. Awesome work!
Loved this, was so moving. Conveyed so much in so few words.
ReplyDeleteI loved this! Man, there are so many speedy people...I need to get to work on my entry! :)
ReplyDeleteNice, lyrical use of language!
ReplyDeleteWow! This is wonderful. So moving and poetic. Great job! (And so fast!!)
ReplyDeleteVery nice, such passion! ; )
ReplyDeleteI love this. Really well done, especialy the image of the shattered mirror. Mine is #29
ReplyDeleteI like this one so much, I have to shoot over and like it on Rach's blog. Excellent job, David!
ReplyDeleteLovely. Is there really anything else to say?
ReplyDeleteI love the way you wrote this. :) It's a moving story!
ReplyDeletea moving, fluid piece. so tragic yet hopeful!
ReplyDeleteVery rich with emotion. I don't even know which words to use to tell you how beautiful I think this piece is. It's an absolute treasure. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteVery well done! Kind of sad and romantic all at once. Like the language.
ReplyDeleteOutstanding flash fiction piece David. I love the short sentences...very powerful.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your kind comments and your time for reading my entry. This was a special piece of writing for me. Thank you, everyone! :)
ReplyDeleteDavid, that was beautiful, and haunting. Really well done!
ReplyDeleteWow! What a moving piece! I love how everything flowed seamlessly together. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteOOOH, David! I like your ghost story, too!
ReplyDeleteI really liked this. It has an underlying musicality that I like. Bittersweet darkness rides the music and gently sets the reader down into the final hopeful words.
ReplyDeleteVery nice.
Beautifully poetic. You even got it to rhyme in places. I'm envious!
ReplyDeleteI wrote a comment before (I tell you I was the first one!!) and I'm not sure what happened to it. Anyway, you seriously amaze me with how many different (and wonderful) stories you can come up with. I liked the other one you where telling me about too, but this one is perfect for the words!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful and so sad. I'm in awe at what you managed to do.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness this is incredible! It is just so beautifully written. Yep, I'm voting for you.
ReplyDeleteSamantha
Writing Through College
At first I thought this was Romeo speaking of Juliet or Heathcliff of Kathy...but the mirror image is a good choice.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, very moving. You did an amazing job, David.
ReplyDeleteThis is a stunning piece of writing. Fantastic.
ReplyDeleteAww, this was absolutely beautiful. The flow and the melody and the way you captured such powerful emotions. Excellent!
ReplyDeleteThat's some flashy flash fiction!
ReplyDeleteFantastic! I was definitely into the loss and the love, very evident! And I love the poem format, nice work!
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. Chills. If this doesn't make it into the finals, I don't know what will.
ReplyDeleteWow! I got goose bumps reading that! Very nice work.
ReplyDeleteDavid! High five for depressing entries! *grins* Seriously, I loved it. Well done. :)
ReplyDeleteYours was the first I read, and is still my favorite :). So sad, but I love the note of hope with which it ends. Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteNice! And sad. The poetic voice suited the content quite well!
ReplyDeleteI read yours before I did mine, and it set a ridiculously high bar. :(
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed your piece. Very beautiful. I am #92
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful and eloquent. I loved this.
ReplyDeleteVery, very nice. Lovely use of language and rhythm.
ReplyDeleteThis is fittingly lyrical and evocative.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poetic prose. You have a gift for this!
ReplyDeleteNice. I like how you use short sentences/phrases and yet manage to convey a whole story. nice job!
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree with Fairview, the short sentences make for more tense reading and make it more dramatic. good job!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for reading mine and stopping to comment. Appreciate it.
What is your secret weapon? You've got me quessing. :)
Hmm that's much too clever. Drat. Off to go re-write mine. Well done, wonderful job.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh that was amazing. I LOVE this. It's so beautiful and sad... reading it gave me chills it was so good! Fantastic job! I'm definitely voting for you!
ReplyDelete(I'm entry #113)
Great entry. Very beautiful. I loved it!
ReplyDeleteGawd...and you said *my* story was sad!
ReplyDeleteOh how very sad and beautiful at the same time.
ReplyDeleteVery moving. The sparing use of rhyme made it even more poetic. Hat's off to you, Sir!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are awesome! I appreciate your time to visit this blog and read this entry. My goal is to read every single entry. I tell ya, that's something of a journey (I can't stop rhyming, can I?)! Thank you all for your comments! :)
ReplyDeleteThis challenge seems to have elicited a lot of poetry. I like the synchronous images at the end. The words really forced us to go "out there," didn't they? (#110)
ReplyDeleteWow, this is awesome, sad, and beautiful all in only 200 words. Great job!
ReplyDeleteWOW!!!! David you gave me goose bumps and made me tear up a little. I LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteThis flowed beautifully and was emotional intense. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe this is only 200 words, feels much longer. So sad, and still so romantic. I hope they're together now :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, I need a tissue too! Great job! I love the way you wrote this.
ReplyDeleteOkay. This is my favorite Challenge #2 entry so far. Totally emotional. Totally heartbreaking. Beautifully written. Fantastic job!
ReplyDeleteLike WOW! That was awesome! I loved it. This was so eloquently written. Just loved it.
ReplyDeletesoooo good - def. do more flash - I agree it's quite fun isn't it
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by at my blog....loved your entry....high on emotional quotient....great look and feel to your blog as well!
ReplyDeleteOh that is just too sad. Very well written.
ReplyDeleteLove the background imagery on your blog, by the way.
Holy Moly, I loved it! Well done, Mr. King!
ReplyDeleteWow, love in parallel universes, or some such. Good entry!
ReplyDeleteSo intense and so sad! Well done.
ReplyDeleteGreat entry! I love your writing style.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely enthralling. Sad and engaging at the same time. I would love to read more of your poetry.
ReplyDeleteI'm # 157.
So romantic. Reminds me of how I felt at times when I was younger. Before the real world slapped me cross the face.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
This was so powerful. And so sad. Wonderful job, David!
ReplyDeleteWow! Intense, poetic prose. The mirror imagery was awesome! Great job, David!
ReplyDeleteThere is so much in this and it's quite sad *sob*.
ReplyDeleteThat was wonderful! It had great cadence.
ReplyDeleteWow, I was not expecting the tragic ending for the lady love, but excellent imagery with the mirror to show they'll be together again. And the words were perfectly paced to tell the story.
ReplyDeleteThe thought of parting makes you oscitate when long miles separate.
ReplyDeletelove that line. Sounds like a song lyric.
Beautiful and great rhythm.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was powerful! And I LOVE those short sentences!
ReplyDeleteWow...very moving! I love how you used the poetry to make such a powerful piece. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteWOW. I usually don't like poetry, but you nailed it! This was powerful, and emotional, and just pretty much perfect! Great job!
ReplyDeleteVery pretty. And nice use of the words!
ReplyDeleteWow beautifully written. I love writing/reading these flash fiction pieces. I'm learning so much. :)
ReplyDeleteThis was beautiful. It was written so well I didn't even notice the mandatory words. Great job.
ReplyDeleteLots of emotion induced by the short snappy sentences. Very nicely written and good imagery. Well done.
ReplyDeleteWOW ! WOW ! WOW ! You have left me breathless ... speechless ... stunned ... what an amazing talent ! Thanks for stopping by my blog !
ReplyDeleteWell punch me in the gut and leave me breathless, why don't you??? Wow, David...that's some serious power in those 200 words. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteWow. Amazing piece. Stylish and not only is it evocative, but I'm amazed at how many different emotions you managed to fit in such a small space without making it feel cramped.
ReplyDeleteSo poetic, and sad. Perhaps you should try your hand at romance novels? lol :)
ReplyDeleteVery nice job! I could feel the desire!
ReplyDelete#189
A story well suited to poetry, and nicely done.
ReplyDeleteYou should be pleased with the result.
Humm.. I could have SWORN I had commented on this already. Oh, well. Another BRAVO certainly won't hurt! Well done!
ReplyDeleteI REALLY like the short lines. Adds a lot to the mood of the piece here.