Monday, November 5, 2012

I'm Thankful For My Readers: Who Ate My Pie Crust?

Hey, guys! Am I on time for Tara Tyler and VixLit's I'm Thankful for ... my Readers! blogfest? Good, because you guys are in for a special treat. I read with my kids a lot over the weekend and an unexpected metamorphosis took place within the ol'noggin - I can't stop thinking in rhyme! It didn't help that I got stuck with a character in a card game that requires you to speak in rhyme when it's on the table. That, mixed with a somewhat-true story at my first try at pumpkin pie, I couldn't help myself. So, as a way to say THANK YOU to my amazing readers (CPs, bloggers, Betas, Alphas, The Mrs, etc), you've been integrated into my first ever attempt at drafting a children's-style book - don't drink any beverage as you read ...

Who Ate My Pie Crust?!

By P. King Duck

Sugar and Cinnamon,
Nutmeg and pumpkin.
The counter top was set
for my first pie excursion.

Excited I was as I left the warm blender,
ready to pour soup in my "crusted" container.
I had laid it out nicely, whilst singing a song,
but to my gasping grief, the crust was gone!

Except for a small part, near my knife sheath,
the unmistakable markings of human teeth ...

"Who ate my pie crust?" I right away asked.
"A child, a monster ... a guy in a mask?"
The Boy didn't do it - he was taking a pee.
The Girl didn't either, for she was asleep.

I went and asked Peggy (she writes for cookies).
"Did you eat my pie crust?" (she is sooo sneaky)
"Pie is underrated, but I assure you it wasn't me.
You should ask Erin - cause she's a spy, you see!"

I asked her - no luck, so I expanded my riot,
by asking Alex Cavanaugh, a starship pilot.
"I hope you catch a red-handed culprit soon,
but I have 100 comments to write before noon!"


"Who ate my pie crust?!" I asked Michael - like that.
He blamed the whole thing on Schrodinger's Cat.

I bet Mark ate it, that Irish-Hawaiian prankster,
but he proved me wrong, hook, line, and sinker.

"Who ate my pie crust?!" I asked Mr. Dilloway,
followed by Julia, Shallee, and Samantha May.
"Don't look at us!" they all cried the same line,
including Jay, Kelley, and young Miss Madeline.

I asked hundreds more, but none had eaten it.
How could they? They're online. They hadn't see it!
Then The Mrs. saw me, pacing, frowning like a mutt,
and cried, "Hey, honey - what's that on your butt?"

Now I remembered - the crust, left on the stool,
the same stool I had sat on ... oh, what a fool!

"I ruined the pie crust?!" I couldn't be more dumb.
I meant to make pie - instead, I made a sticky bun ...

The "END!"

 *     *     *

Wasn't that delicious? If I had included every one of my amazing readers and CPs, the post would be longer than anyone would be willing to read, so keep in mind that I had all of YOU in mind while writing it. I live to write for you, so thank you for enduring my constant shlock and returning to this blog to see whatever nonsensical mischief I'm up to. You're the best. Believe it!

Update: Can't seem to catch a break! Seriously. Good thing I didn't sign up for NaNoWriMo or I'd have failed already. All the while, ideas continue to simmer and stew and my notes keep getting bigger and bigger. With luck and hope, I'll add more seriously-needed words.

This week, the blog is all about FOOD! Come back for seconds! 

How was your weekend? Who's ready to vote tomorrow? What books are you reading? Anyone care for some pie (we baked another!)?


I'm David, and I'm just a lonely zombie ...

(Someone make a musical of this, please?)


  1. That was a hilarious! You win.
    Now excuse me while I got complete those hundred comments...

  2. Yes, my butt is always the last place I think to look for pie.

  3. Ha! That was great. Yes, very creative.

  4. Fabulous, love it! Thank you, David :)

  5. Ah-hahahaha!!!!! DPK, that was amazzzzzing. Sooooo brilliant. I'm still laughing at the starship pilot line. TOO awesome.

  6. your story was grand!
    i give you a hand!

    perfect as pie!
    and written so sly!

    i think its contagious!
    laughs too! outrageous!

    thanks for your shout!
    and now, peace out =)

  7. and the cartoons were extra special too! thanks for adding this wonderful spice to our fest!

  8. I enjoyed your cartoons.

    I'm already to vote for tomorrow. It's pretty exciting for my husband and I because three of our four kids are voting in their first presidential election. I'm so thankful to live in a time and place where they can have a say in their government.

  9. Great job! Just what I needed on a crazy Monday :)

  10. I loved it! Excellent job in sharing your thanks. And for giving me a great laugh :-)

  11. I love the poem, how awesome! Excellent! Hilarious and creative, and thank you for joining in.

    I am in especial admiration as my own limerick took me FOREVER so I cannot imagine how long this took ;)

  12. Hey,

    That was awesome and if you hear surprise in my voice, it's only because you were so kind to mention me - and I appreciate that, but will decline a slice of the first Butt pie.

    Cheers, and well done on the story, I'm going to read it to my five-year-old later :)

  13. A wonderful poem! Be careful, once that rhyming thing starts, it's hard to get rid of again ;)

  14. Woo hoo. Thanks for the shout out. I love the short story dedication. On nano, I too would have already failed. However, it did give me the motivation to try and write something this weekend. I'm proud to say that I cranked out 2400 words. That's not too bad considering I'm slow as hell. Have a great day :)

  15. Oh my gosh, I'm dying! That was the best thing I've read all day!

  16. OH, that was FANTASTIC. :D :D :D *applauds*

  17. Great poem! Rhyming is kind of like potato chips and limericks. Once you start, you can't stop ...

  18. That was funny! I've actually done that before, but it was an apple pie. It was a mess, and my buns were equally sticky.

  19. Sticky bun - fun! It's good to hear you have some good ideas brewing and mixing! Great post! Happy Writing!

  20. Pie is wonderful. Even better in a story with rhyme.

  21. Hilarious, David! I was laughing at Alex's line and it's so true! An excellent poem! I loved every minute of it!

    If you asked me, I didn't eat your pie! I was online like the others! Hahaha ;)

  22. haha this is great. I am trying not to regret signing up for NaNo, as it is a busy month for me too!

    Allison (Geek Banter)

  23. That was great!

    Thank you for the follow!

  24. haha...awesome poem. I love pie--especially key lime and pumpkin. :)

    I'm a new follower--glad I found you through the bloghop!

  25. First of all, I am beyond star struck that I was mentioned in your poem :D

    Second, I cannot stop laughing. Wait...nope. Still laughing :)

    1. I knew having a month for a last name would come in handy one day!

  26. Awesome. Now there's the true evidence of a creative brain. =) (Don't tell the pet zombie I keep locked in my closet.)

  27. That was quite the treat! And quite the tribute to all your readers/supporters. Nicely done.

  28. This was fun! A great tribute to your bloggy buddies!
    Congratulations on the win!

  29. How Fun! Really creative and such a riot!
    Congrats on winning:)

  30. This was awesome! The next time I eat pie, I'll think of this and laugh!

  31. Hi David - very creative ... so pleased you won ... the references to your supportive bloggers are great, while Alex's referencing his 100 comments before noon .. I really don't know how he does it ...

    Good for you - cheers Hilary

  32. This was such an inventive way to acknowledge your blogging buddies! I also love the line about Alex! Congrats on the win, and I give your poem Four Forks! Julie

  33. This made me laugh out loud! Fantastic.

  34. Congrats you are a rig! So fun to read~
    I can see why you won :D