Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Insecure Writer's Support Group: Back Into Writing, Back Into Life: Overcoming My Battles With Anxiety

http://www.alexjcavanaugh.com/p/the-insecure-writers-support-group.htmlIt's the first Wednesday of the month, which means it's time to get insecure! Special thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for creating/hosting the Insecure Writer's Support Group, a monthly forum for writers to share insecurities without fear of reprisal.

It seems that much has changed in social media and the Blogosphere, so it's a little more than daunting to step back into the arena; that's what I thought before starting this post. If you've been following me, you'll know my life went chaotic. I had to put writing on hold while I secured a long, processed career change. The good news is school's over and I'll be licensed in a few months. The kids are in school. My schedule has stabilized. It is possible to start writing again. However, I've said this before ...

Somewhere along the way, depression and anxiety had a choke hold on me, the lengths of which I've never experienced before. I thought I knew what it was when I studied it, but living it is another sack of potatoes. It's more than feeling down or scared. For me, it hurts. Physically. Many things suffered because of this, and it's taken THIS long to find the right options to make things manageable again. My perception on the state of social media hasn't helped. It's been toxic and unsafe, for me. Three months ago, the idea of throwing a post up, about anything, caused me to panic. Same goes for appearances and launch parties, things I really enjoy. How had I fallen so hard?

So I looked up a youtuber who's content I really enjoyed when he went on a break with a vague plan of return, and it resonated with me. After these many years of building this blog and the connecting with many readers, it wouldn't surprise me if this silence on my end and lack of writing has led to disappointment or even betrayal. It was never my intention to go, but the odds weren't in my favor. In light of this, correct or not, rest assured that I haven't given up on writing. I have something new in submission with my agent, too. Not Woven or zombies, and I've started the second zombie again. Just need time.

That is the long and short of where I've been these last couple years. Further details are not included as they are my issues to work with. Writing may not be as fast as I'd like it to be. I've come to terms that it may not be my season yet. I'm doing what I can while supporting my family, who needs their father to be both there and functional. I also am making it a priority to post more often. Here and elsewhere. So long as the desire exists, so too will the manuscripts manifest.

As always, thank you. I highly value your patronage and support.

Ever fallen into a funk? What has helped to pull out from under it? Do you think Thanos did nothing wrong? Can you do the Floss?

I'm David, and I spy a smile in that water spill ...

24 comments:

  1. Welcome back!
    I know some of the stuff and it's been a heck of an ordeal for you. Just keep taking steps forward and reconnect with everything in your life.

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  2. Glad to see you! I am the queen of funk, but in this wonderful internet world of writers, we are welcomed whenever. I've abandoned my blogs in the last year, hit and miss. I want to get back to it, because we ARE missed by others. You are missed when you are absent.

    Teresa

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  3. Welcome back! We did miss you and notice - you're not forgotten. I'm not sure what to do with blogging myself anymore. So, yep, funks (little and big) happen.

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  4. It's those first day of school nerves. You've been there before. You know what to do. But it's all new. What changed over summer vacation? The world has changed...

    Good luck. Hopefully you'll find things more welcoming than you're anticipating.

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  5. Everything has a season. Just jump back in and I bet you'll feel welcome.

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  6. Welcome back!! I'm totally susceptible to the funk. I pretend I'm fully functioning and stable, but the truth is, I will make myself "busy" to escape the things I fear. I have found that distraction and obsession are good tonics for depression. The trick is finding positive things to focus on until I feel even-keeled. That feeling of panic at the thought of jumping back in? I totally understand that.

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  7. Welcome back!

    Glad to hear you haven't given up on writing.

    And no...I don't think Thanos did nothing wrong.

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  8. Nice to "see" you again.

    My blog is fairly important to me, but I learned long ago that the real world matters more, and I learned not to apologize for it. Explaining it to my readers is a different story, and I often do that. So, do whatcha gotta do!

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  9. Welcome back!!
    Glad you're still writing! It's definitely easy to slip into a funk (I feel like I'm constantly in one), and when you've got so much going on in life, no one's going to hold it against you.

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  10. I can relate very well with what you're saying. I've been in a weird funk for a while, mostly due to family and life issues, but also just a general disillusionment with writing, blogging, and other things.

    Sounds like you're getting back on track so that's a good thing. Sometimes I think we all need to take a detour and if we don't voluntarily do so then life will find a way to throw us off track.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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  11. Welcome back! I can relate to this, because I too am just coming back. I've had some hard times, slacked off, fallen into my funk. It's funny, your post so closely mirrors why I've left. I'm still writing, I've gotten my teeth sunk in pretty deep on a very large project. The thing that has been helping me get back into this is the fact that I HAVE built my blog from nothing. I can now totally relate to why so few come to see me. I think I would have felt betrayed or disappointed if someone I followed took a long hiatus as I have, and you, without much explanation. So good luck to you on getting back into it! Just remember, the days you feel like blogging, you can schedule those posts. I think it might help you. :)

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  12. You've got to hang on when the chips are down and you have. Celebrate confidently and share everything, trekkers are good friends.

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  13. Your true friends and fans will be here for you. Thanks for being so open, too. I'm sure this post will be a blessing to more people than you know.

    Hugs and cheers. And get busy with that zombie novel! :D

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  14. So glad you're back. I've been struggling a lot too these last years since my husband died, I made a career change, and have had to start a new life. My love of writing has changed too but I'm glad to be a contract writer now who gets paid. Sometimes life seems like a hard path, but we're here for you. Hope you keep writing and stick around. Have missed you.

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  15. Depression and panic attacks are monsters to deal with. Your most important goals are your health and well being and being there for your family. No betrayal in putting those things first and letting the cyber world slide.

    That said, i am glad you are back, even if it’s only once in so often at first.

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  16. Welcome back David. I know you can write well, just hope you manage the time now. You know better than anyone about depression and panic attacks. At least it will help you in your day job.

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  17. Welcome Back! Life is about balance and we all have times where finding that balance is difficult. It sounds like you are finding your way to solid ground :)

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  18. Many times I've fallen into a "funk." It either never lasts long, or is still continuing with some moments of creative and personal bliss. I have just learned to recognize the good as it comes along, no matter how long or short it lasts. I love those creative bliss moments when I can write and I like what I've created.

    Life sucks sometimes, but it also has its beautiful moments.

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  19. David....

    WE ALL have FALLEN into oblivion from time to time. God only knows I have. LIFE is SOOOOOO hard. Living the many years I have lived you think it would get easier. Sadly, it doesn't. Each day is like every other with little change and no highs in sight. Lows seem to overcome us. The mundane seems to be the norm. But remember one thing... there is ALWAYS LIGHT. Light to guide us in the right direction. Light to show us the way. Light comes in many forms.... our family, friends, loved ones....Even our pets. It is so hard to pull ourselves up. BUT we must. Gloom can't take over ... always remember the light. That has kept me going for these past few decades of my life. You are still a very young man. DON'T Give up... just take one step, one JOY at a time. It seems you have mustered up the courage to do just that. We ALL believe in you and your talent. Never forget that especially when you start to beat yourself up....

    Take care Sir David....

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  20. so great to hear from you! and have you back!
    and hear good news and progress =)
    no news is not bad news - never fear from this group.
    keep at it and let us know if we can help!

    Tara Tyler Talks

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  21. Love the water spill smile! Made me laugh. Glad you're making your way through what life is throwing your way. I CAN'T wait for the next zombie book!!!!

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  22. Hi David - good to see you again - and congratulations on being so near to qualifying and being licensed - well done ... I've done it without kids though! I do hope life will ease the clouds will rise ever more - take care and all the very best - Hilary

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  23. I'm sorry to hear of your plight. Rest assured you're not alone. It's good therapy to get it out and let it go! Let It Go! Those words, I repeat over and over. Or, Let Go and Let God! Take care, David, Your family always comes first!

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