It's been a long time coming, but I've wanted to be a part of Alex's monthly support group for a while. Not to vent or rant, per say, but to admit, in spite of the enthusiasm and positivity I love to surround myself with and perpetuate, I shouldn't be afraid to let my insecurities out once in a while. This is a great excuse to let the chips fall.
Is my writing really good enough?
This is likely a most unoriginal question, but that's what I've asked myself in the last month. After shopping a novel for over a year, the longest attempt I've made yet, I've finally grasped the meaning of subjectivity. Rejections are part of the business and a "no thanks" letter doesn't phase me anymore - it's the on-going ones that do.
I once asked an agent if having a coauthor makes a difference in trying to rep a book verses one author. The answer: "It doesn't matter. It's all about the writing." I assume she means good writing. I totally get that and agree with that. Thing is, I've had a wonderful chance to share this novel with lots of people, more than any of my previous attempts, mostly from strangers who read home-printed copies from my family and close friends. Some have emailed me. One reader said her only complaint was that she couldn't "go to Walmart and buy the next one." Reader support has been breathtaking. I thank each and every one of you. This is why I want to write.
When it comes to publishing this book ... that's another matter. I've yet to spark this mysterious enthusiasm that my readers have with those who are in a position to champion it, make it better than I know how and take it to the next level. Some have been helpful in their rejections. Most have been silent. The problem is, I know my writing is good enough, at least on par with debut novels in the last year. Is my writing good enough? One can't help but ask this question.
What about self publishing? - believe me, it's sounding better and better each day, but that will be our endgame. I know this story is great. There is no doubting that, and my coauthor and I feel this story deserves a chance with the best people as possible. Self publishing could happen if we run out of doors to knock on.
I already know the answer. Yes. It is good enough. It might be better than I think it is. The ongoing support I receive is proof of that, and I'm not going to tarnish that support by whining and complaining. I own these rejections. I have more stories than I could tell in a lifetime and I know one of them will ignite that spark, so I will keep at it.
Thanks for enduring my spiel - it feels good letting that out.
I'm David, and I should've joined this group sooner!