Wednesday, January 8, 2014

IWSG: Happy New Year, Winners, and Opening Up!


Need A Little Support?Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh, the Insecure Writer's Support Group gives bloggers a monthly chance to express their concerns, worries, and insecurities without fear of reprisal. It's a seriously big group now, and with well over 300 participants, it shows no signs of slowing down! I'd like to thank Alex for keeping this group going for so long, as it has proved wonderful in the supporting of fellow authors and the revealing of needed and sound advice.

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Before we begin, a belated Happy New Year! And for those of you who said stuff on my "Merry Gathering" post, the winners are:

and

I'll email your Amazwesomenesss soon. Claim your prize. Claim it!

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While I was away, something felt amiss in my blogging. After mulling about it for a while and a few conversations later, I realized the blog WAS missing something: myself - or rather, my personal side.

Yes, I love highlighting books and writing reviews and I will continue to do so, but if an author blog is also a means for others to learn of and get to know an author, I haven't provided that for some time. It might have to do with this fact: I don't like talking about myself. I mean, it's fun to answer questions when asked, but not for long. I'll give short answers and direct the conversation back to others. 

That's weird, Dave. Why don't you like talking about yourself?

I'm anxious that doing so comes across as being self important and egotistical. This is why I'm the quiet one in the group or I'd rather talk about what you're doing and writing (which I genuinely do).

That's going to change. This year, I'm going to open up a little more and occasionally share thoughts and stories from my life that have made an influence on me and who I am. I'm not sure when I'll post these. Maybe weekly or monthly. It's more or less an experiment to see how it goes - and I promise to keep it short/writing related. Not advice, but life lessons and what they've done for me. Stay tuned.

And, if you'd like to ask questions about things you'd like to know about me, that will keep me on my toes. What do you think?

Do you worry about talking too much about yourself? When is enough enough? What's the balance between yourself and others?

I'm David, and liverwurst isn't recommended for jellyfish.

50 comments:

  1. I don't talk too much about myself on my blog either. And when I do, I get many comments that people would like to read more. I think you may be on to something....

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  2. I got away from me on my blog and it showed. (After blogging almost 9 years, it was beginning to drag.) I decided I needed to embrace the Hammy the Squirrel in me and post about me, with my personality, more often. I think people connect better then.

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  3. I would consider you a very good listener, David. I find we learn more that way anyhow. But as for your blog, yes, this is your place to have a voice, and we come to listen to what you have to say. It isn't egotistical to be yourself on your blog. :) I look forward to your future personal posts!

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  4. Oh I'd love to hear more about your life. You could never be egotistical sir.

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  5. Happy New Year, David!

    Please let us learn about YOU.... There is nothing wrong with sharing yourself with others... That what writers do.. share. We share our experiences, thoughts, happinesses, and sadnesses.

    This is life. WE all experience it in different ways. But,,, the bottom line is we are all in the same boat. Lets row together on our journeys through the temperate and rip roaring waters of life.

    Congrats to the winners!

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  6. I've always been under the impression that people didn't WANT to hear about me. Every time I started talking about myself people interrupted with something about them, so I eventually silenced that voice.

    That's part of why I like writing with a pseudonym--I can be myself, without being connected to that part of me that thinks she doesn't have anything interesting to say.

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  7. I feel the same way, actually. I have the same self-important or egotistical concern so I don't enjoy talking about myself. I'm glad you'll open up and look forward to getting to know YOU better. Maybe I'll follow your lead someday lol

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  8. Happy New Year! I find I definitely get more comments on my blog updates about myself, and not just about writing/books.

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  9. Happy New Year!
    And my poor jelly fish, I've been feeding him liverwurst all this time! I must apologize abundantly! ;)

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  10. Oh my goodness. I'm the same way. It's so much easier to divert attention from myself than to share. I have the same goals as you this year. Once a week I'm posting as myself, not a reviewer or author. Good luck and Happy New Year.

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  11. I find it hard to talk about myself too. I am shy and there are certain things I like to keep private. Opening up on your blog is a great and brave thing to do. Best of luck and happy New Year! :)

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  12. I think I have that issue with my blog, as well. I am so busy promoting others, I forget to talk about myself. I am going to work on that this year as well. Have a great 2014!

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  13. YES! I definitely worry about talking about myself too much. I'm very much an extrovert, but usually so I can get the conversation started so the OTHER person can talk about themselves. But really, we should share more about ourselves.

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  14. Yep, I've been thinking about blogging about something other than just writing too. I just have to make the effort. Maybe 2014 will be the year my blog becomes more rounded.

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  15. Yes, I do. And I think it's understandable. I was getting ready to have a picture taken with a couple of other writer friends, and one of them commented, "Oh, yes. You like to post pictures to show off all the authors you know."

    That stopped me cold. That wasn't why I post pictures from writerly gatherings at all. I share so the people attending can have the pictures to, and for those who had wanted to attend but couldn't, have the opportunity to see.

    The comment totally killed any desire to post pictures anymore. Because if that's the perception, it's incorrect and not me at all.

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  16. Happy New year! Thank you so much for this epic prize. Logic cannot explain why - I only know my empty, lonely mind needs cosmic thoughts to survive.

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  17. I used to have that problem as well and my personal meme 'Getting Personal' helped me open up more. Now I barely do it and I still share myself way more than I used to. Best of luck David and while love what you do now I'll gladly read more about the man behind the blog.

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  18. I'm not a fan of talking about myself. It's not just me--I don't like other people talking about me either. I don't worry about it too much. I'd rather work on keeping my blog content interesting. And I think your blog is going to be good no matter what you talk about.

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  19. I go through this mental-emotional conundrum every time I post something where I'm blabbing personal stuff, and yet honestly, David, those are my favorite blogs to read. I get bored by all the superficial stuff-- I want to know what makes you, the writer, tick. But yes, after I write personal stuff I go into spasms of self-doubt that I revealed too much or talked about things people don't really care about. Writers--oh we're a funny breed!

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  20. I look forward to reading more about you. Some self promotion is called for after all you've done for so many others.

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  21. Looking forward to it! This post made me realize how much I talk about myself. (insert sheepish smile here) ;)

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  22. Is liverwurst recommended for anyone?

    Don't worry too much, your personality leaks through on each post. Yes, it will be nice to get to know you better, but it's not as if your a cold fish. And if you can't talk about yourself on your very own blog where can you do it? I've seen people who talk exclusively about themselves and that is too much. I don't see that happening with you. You have too much give and take in your posts. You're always reaching out to others and I don't think you can turn that off.

    Unless your a cyborg carefully crafted to sound like David King. Then all bets are off.

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    1. um, p.s., thanks for the gift card. :)

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  23. I don't often talk about myself on the blog either, unless it relates to my writing. It'll be fun to see your tales though!

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  24. My blog is a purely personal blog and now that it's ten years old, I'm running out of stories to tell!

    I'm actually on the opposite end of the spectrum...looking for things other than me to talk about.

    :)

    I do think a nice mixture is best...I'd like to know more about you!

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    1. I forgot to say, THANK YOU for my prize!!!
      Thank you very, very much!!!!!!
      :)

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  25. you know, our blog posts today definitely go hand in hand!! imagine that? birds of a feather? idk...are you peacock-ish? Learning about others is fabulous, and doing it on a blog for all to see...even better!

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  26. I often worry that when I talk about myself, no one will be interested in what I have to say, but my supportive readers are good at alleviating that concern. I think it would be good to throw a little personal stuff into the mix. The key is to find the right balance.

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  27. My life is kinda boring; I prefer hearing others talk. More fodder for the next story idea, you know :)

    It will be good to get to know you better David.

    ......dhole

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  28. DPK!

    Wishing you and yours a HNY :)

    OK, enough with the letter-thingies, LOL.

    It would be fun and interesting to know more about you, so I would say bring it ON, man - but only to where you feel comfortable... you know your Knights will easily spot if you fake it to make it :)

    I think it's good for us writers to lay a few blemishes out there anyway. People (future readers) know we're not perfect, so let's show them... they may even relate and become more loyal :)

    (Although, as a Knight, I don't know what more I can do... a Lordship perhaps in the Berkshires, perchance to dream?)

    Cheers and all the best for '14 :)

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  29. I was just blogging about how I'm concerned about sharing TMI on the Internet, and yet at the same time, I admitted that I am drawn to writers who do take the extra mile to share personal details about themselves. While I allude to my private life outside of my writing life, I also try to be mindful of the all the different age groups, and parents, teachers, and librarians, that might come to my blog someday if I get published, considering that I want to write for children.

    I think it's great that you're planning to share more about yourself, David. =)

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  30. It doesn't come naturally to me either but I actually like to know a bit about a person. I think a little personality on a blog is a good thing. Look forward to learning a little more about you, David.

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  31. I'm not great at talking about myself, particularly when it comes to my writing. I never feel confident that I know what I'm talking about, and I never praise myself no matter how (supposedly) deserved it is.

    I look forward to learning more about the Powers King.

    Happy 2014.

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  32. It is a hard step, I mostly talk about things I am thinking on my blog. I think though that letting people know about you is a great way for them to get interested in your writing. Good luck on this years blogs.

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  33. Happy New Year! I don't share that much about myself either though I do put little updates sometimes at the top of my posts. You're right that it's important to share personal things too.

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  34. I'm the same, I don't like to share too much about myself, because I think it makes me seem a little big-headed. It's an introvert thing, I guess :)

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  35. ah, at least we can see your photo, Dave, there are so many bloggers who hide behind impersonal avatars and you communicate with them for years but still have no connection with them since you've never actually seen their face at least on a picture.

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  36. I should probably worry about talking too much, about myself that is, but I don't. Writing comes from the soul, from who you are, and this life is all about finding meaning through sharing ourselves with one another. Those deep and personal experiences are the moments you connect most powerfully with friends and readers. So, no, I don't worry about sharing too much of myself. Unless I haven't had my cheese for the day. ;)

    Looking forward to it!

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  37. Happy 2014!

    I like getting to know other bloggers so I'm looking forward to these posts!

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  38. The key is telling stories. It doesn't matter if they're about you or not.

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  39. Every successful artist needs to show off their personal side. I am sure your writing will flourish.

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  40. I think it would be great to know more about you. Besides, that is the only way to get to know the person behind the writer's cloak. Dragon hugs!

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  41. I have a hard time talking about myself sometimes, too, but I love seeing others talk about themselves on their own blogs. It helps make them stand out from other bloggers and gives their posts personality!

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  42. I have mixed feelings, I both love and hate myself, and usually whenever I go to far in one direction, the other side of me pulls me back. I used to have the vocal (on my blog) rants about how narcissistic I have to be in order to keep blogging, but eventually, I figured that while I need attention, I don't have to compromise my rather bipolar feelings about talking about myself in order to do it. So now, if I feel like I really need to talk about me, I will. No worries.

    So here's to getting to know you.

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  43. It took me a long time to start a blog for that very reason. I am generally a pretty private and shy person. The idea of starting a blog terrified me. I don't like talking about myself and it took me years to even start sharing my writing. Honestly, if I hadn't met two incredible fellow writers at a writers conference (namely you David and Leigh Covington) I probably never would have had the courage to start. You were extremely kind to a complete stranger. You gave me your card and I've been a fan ever since. I don't think you should ever worry about sharing more about who you are. We get a pretty good idea of your personality through your posts and it could only create even more loyalty from fans by connecting with them on a deeper level.
    I look forward to learning more:)

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  44. I've noticed that I tend to steer away from blogs that do nothing but promote other writers or people's projects. The really enjoyable ones are the ones that connect on a personal level with their readers. It's easy as a blogger, though, to want to help support others so it's an easy trap to fall into.

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  45. I hope I don't talk TOO much about myself. It is such a hard balance, but if a reader is going to keep coming around I think they want to know the author they are reading. It sounds like you have a plan that will work. Good luck. Leanne ( http://readfaced.wordpress.com/ )

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  46. I feel like I am missing some sort of liverwurst/jellyfish reference here...

    I think it's good for an author to be able to open up on their blog so that readers can get to know them. Of course there is the risk of coming across as egotistical and self-important, but I think as long as you don't overdo it... I guess a lot of people share life lessons and whatnot on their blogs, so maybe it wouldn't come across badly like that at all.

    Have a great New Year, David :)

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  47. Yes! We want to know more about the REAL, DPK. Give the people what they want! :)

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  48. You're such an enigma! Okay, so you're not. I think your personality comes out in your blog posts, no matter the subject matter. But I do know what you're talking about. I blogged for 5 years before I even showed my face.

    So it looks like you're making 2014 the year of "strengthening connections." I think that's a great thing.

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