Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Villain Service Announcement: Come Get Your Sharks With Frickin' Lasers, Right Now, While Supplies Last!


As a courtesy to all villains out there, who are struggling their best to take over the world with whatever resources they have, I have some very special news - get ready to crack open your overseas accounts!

Time and time again, when the hero shows up and you have them in your clutches, something always goes awry: incompetent minions or a premature self-destruct system to name a few. In some cases, it's a failure to acquire sharks with frickin' lasers attached to their heads.

Below is a dramatization of one such untimely predicament:



Now, I've never tried to take over the world, but I know sea bass won't cut it - and the folks at ThinkGeek, the universal supplier of stuff for smart masses, understand your plight and have committed themselves to provide you the perfect solution to your needs!

No more red tape. No more worrying about endangered species lists. For a one time only low rate of One Billion Dollars, you can finally own your very own Sharks with Frickin' Lasers on their Frickin' Heads!


Order now and we'll reduce your first order to One Million dollars! You would have to be a good guy to miss out on this exclusive deal!

Not convinced? Just have a look at our already satisfied customer!

Dr. Evil Approved!

"Make like a tree and get out of here" to the one and only supplier of Stuff for Smart Masses! Hurry now, because these are going fast! 

Warning:noactualsharksareforsalejustgenericplasticlaserpointersintheshapeofasharkNosharkswereharmedinthemakingofthisproductbutitwasconsideredHavingasharkwithfrinckin'lasersdoesnotguaranteeworlddominationforallpurchusersSeewebsitefordetailsVoidwhereprohibitedNotlegalinmoststatesanddon'tshinelaserpointersatairplanesEverThat'sjustareallyreallybadidea.

I'm David, and 'Danger" is my "Other" middle name ... ;)

11 comments:

  1. Can you upload them into a tornado?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oo! Me me me! I want a frikin' laser shark! :D

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please send me five, I'll pay overnight delivery.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That sounds like a new Syfy movie: Sharks With Frickin' Lasers!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Finally. I've been waiting for something this genius. And what a deal!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is there a discount for 2?

    Alex's comment - LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What? I'll just leave them in the room and assume everything went according to plan.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have to give a huge presentation to a bunch of doctors next week. Can you imagine their faces if I whip out my shark with a laser on its freakin' head?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you for any other excellent

    post. The place else may anyone get that kind
    of info

    in such a perfect method of writing? I have a presentation subsequent

    week, and I am on the search for such information.
    My webpagesellotape,furniture blankets,wardrobe boxes,mattress bags

    ReplyDelete