The Insecure Writer's Support Group is a mouthy bloghop where writers are welcome to relax, lay back in a chair, and let out their feelings without fear of judgement. Thanks to our host, Alex J. Cavanaugh for keeping this group going for so long. It has been a tremendous help so far, and I'm glad to be a part of this.
No more excuses. I've put quite a few things off for far too long, so it's now or never. What insecurity am I facing this mouth? I've had more time than usual during the last month to think about where I'm headed and what needs to be done, and while there is much to be happy and excited, and grateful about, I keep tripping over myself.
You know how when you're hungry, and you sit down to a big meal, and then you start piling your plate with deliciousness? Hunger can overpower rationale, hence the phrase, "your eyes are bigger than your stomach," or, "you've bitten off more than you can chew."
Well ... the same principle applies to what you do outside of eating. A lot of that, for me, is writing, and having a book deal after 15 years of trying and applying myself, having that offer was like inviting someone to a Thanksgiving feast who hasn't eaten a decent meal in months - and the invitations didn't stop there. I thought I could do it all: blog daily, have three writing groups, accept every ARC review invitation, etc, etc, all while writing novels and still having time for my family.
Earnest as my intentions were, I am no Superman ...
The realization hit a few weeks ago. I had finished typing up a few posts, so I rubbed my eyes and headed upstairs. It was almost 11 at night. To my surprise, my son was up, and my wife was reading to him. I went to the frame, to listen in, and when the story was over, I heard my son. "Mom ... why is Dad on the computer all the time?"
That was my wake-up call, and the start of some serious reflection. Why is my WiP meter crawling at a snail's pace? When was the last time I called my parents and siblings? How many nights had my wife gone to bed, without me? What about that grass? Will it cut itself?
On top of that, it had come to my attention that this blog has a mission statement, under my name, that's not being followed. I hadn't looked at it that way before, that and, if not already, readers (not just writers) will visit this place. What do I have to offer them?
This is why I stepped out of the Blogosphere last month, to count my chickens, so to speak. With work, home improvement projects that never end (hard to do with no money) and recovering from chronic fatigue thrown in the mix, it makes my writing situation unpalatable. At the same time, to be a career writer, I have to write instead of fretting. So I took a break, took the boy to a local college baseball game, stayed off the computer on weekends, started on child #3's room, and made some tough choices: cut two of my three writing groups, cut posts to three times a week, and learned to say "no."
This month will be an experiment. I have a personal deadline to finish Undead Road before June, and I'd like to see how this new blogging regiment (and mission statement follow through) competes with my other obligations and responsibilities. In short, don't mind the mess.
To my friends and readers, you're more supportive, understanding, even forgiving, than I deserve. Without asking, I have over a month's worth of Blog Book Tour volunteers already. You have no idea how helpful that will be in the coming months. Repeatedly, I thank you.
New blogging schedule to be announced soon. Until then, keep being awesome, and you know something else? It's okay to get caught in the overflow, so long as you know when it's time to jump out.
I'm David, and this is 2,500 tons of awesome!