Hey, guys! Am I on time for Tara Tyler and VixLit's I'm Thankful for ... my Readers! blogfest? Good, because you guys are in for a special treat. I read with my kids a lot over the weekend and an unexpected metamorphosis took place within the ol'noggin - I can't stop thinking in rhyme! It didn't help that I got stuck with a character in a card game that requires you to speak in rhyme when it's on the table. That, mixed with a somewhat-true story at my first try at pumpkin pie, I couldn't help myself. So, as a way to say THANK YOU to my amazing readers (CPs, bloggers, Betas, Alphas, The Mrs, etc), you've been integrated into my first ever attempt at drafting a children's-style book - don't drink any beverage as you read ...
Who Ate My Pie Crust?!
By P. King Duck
Sugar and Cinnamon,Nutmeg and pumpkin.
The counter top was set
for my first pie excursion.
Excited I was as I left the warm blender,
ready to pour soup in my "crusted" container.
I had laid it out nicely, whilst singing a song,
but to my gasping grief, the crust was gone!
Except for a small part, near my knife sheath,
the unmistakable markings of human teeth ...
"Who ate my pie crust?" I right away asked.
"A child, a monster ... a guy in a mask?"
The Boy didn't do it - he was taking a pee.
The Girl didn't either, for she was asleep.
I went and asked Peggy (she writes for cookies).
"Did you eat my pie crust?" (she is sooo sneaky)
"Pie is underrated, but I assure you it wasn't me.
You should ask Erin - cause she's a spy, you see!"
I asked her - no luck, so I expanded my riot,
by asking Alex Cavanaugh, a starship pilot.
"I hope you catch a red-handed culprit soon,
but I have 100 comments to write before noon!"
"Who ate my pie crust?!" I asked Michael - like that.
He blamed the whole thing on Schrodinger's Cat.
I bet Mark ate it, that Irish-Hawaiian prankster,
but he proved me wrong, hook, line, and sinker.
"Who ate my pie crust?!" I asked Mr. Dilloway,
followed by Julia, Shallee, and Samantha May.
"Don't look at us!" they all cried the same line,
including Jay, Kelley, and young Miss Madeline.
I asked hundreds more, but none had eaten it.
How could they? They're online. They hadn't see it!
Then The Mrs. saw me, pacing, frowning like a mutt,
and cried, "Hey, honey - what's that on your butt?"
Now I remembered - the crust, left on the stool,
the same stool I had sat on ... oh, what a fool!
"I ruined the pie crust?!" I couldn't be more dumb.
I meant to make pie - instead, I made a sticky bun ...
* * *
Wasn't that delicious? If I had included every one of my amazing readers and CPs, the post would be longer than anyone would be willing to read, so keep in mind that I had all of YOU in mind while writing it. I live to write for you, so thank you for enduring my constant shlock and returning to this blog to see whatever nonsensical mischief I'm up to. You're the best. Believe it!
Update: Can't seem to catch a break! Seriously. Good thing I didn't sign up for NaNoWriMo or I'd have failed already. All the while, ideas continue to simmer and stew and my notes keep getting bigger and bigger. With luck and hope, I'll add more seriously-needed words.
This week, the blog is all about FOOD! Come back for seconds!
How was your weekend? Who's ready to vote tomorrow? What books are you reading? Anyone care for some pie (we baked another!)?
I'm David, and I'm just a lonely zombie ...
(Someone make a musical of this, please?)