Thursday, January 26, 2012

Free Fiction: Substitute For Sun



Substitute For Sun

Grandpa adjusted his ladder beneath the dangling light—now dark, as it had burned out. All the other lights in this part of the forest had died, too. Good thing we spotted the problem in time. The flowers at our feet remained in full bloom. An hour longer and they would have withered and died. And our people with them.

“All right, Opal,” said Grandpa. “Hold it steady for me.”

I watched him climb, one slow step at a time. A question bothered me. I wanted to ask, but I thought it best to wait. The last thing Grandpa needed was a distraction. He reached the socket and twisted the dead bulb free.

“That makes nineteen.” He shook the glass close to his ear and let it drop. The white flowers broke its fall, ringing a soft clink on the ground. It did not take long to replace it. A new bright glow removed the darkness, giving the forest the full spectrum it needed. “Thirty-one more to go!”

He climbed down. His feet touched the ground.

I could finally ask.

“Do you think I’ll ever see the sun, Grandpa?”

I expected a sigh from him, and he gave one. He removed his cap and looked up. So did I. The black clouds were hard to see, but I knew they lingered high above us, choking the life from our world. “I asked my grandfather the same thing,” he answered. “Do you believe there is a sun?”

I wasn’t sure. I wanted to believe, so I nodded.

Grandpa gathered his bag, folded the ladder, and carefully cradled it under his arm. I thought that was the end of it, until he smiled at me. “Light shines where hope lies, they say.”

I frowned. Hope. If only I knew what that was.

*     *     *

I wrote this for a blog hop, hosted by Angela Goff, Lillie McFerrin, Angie Richmond, and Daniel Swensen.

Rules:

Write a piece of flash fiction, poem, or song (300 words or less) using the photo as your inspiration. Post it on your blog any time between now and when the linky closes. Every eligible entry will qualify for a chance to win one of the prizes listed below. The linky will be open from January 23 through January 30. 

1st: Fifty page critique by Lillie McFerrin 
2nd: Twenty-Five page critique edit by Angie Richmond 
3rd: Fifteen page critique by Angela Goff
4th: Ten page critique by Daniel Swensen 
5th: A copy of Steven King’s On Writing

*My blog does not support the Linky for this hop. Weird. You can find other entries by going to the host's blogs.

34 comments:

  1. Oh, I love this. Great world, great characters and dialogue. You packed a lot into this flash. Wonderful!

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  2. You are beyond talented. *bows* :D

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  3. This sounds like it could be the beginnning or the end of your story. Love it, great job David!!

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  4. wow. This is an amazing concept. You are too awesome for words.

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  5. Oh, neat! That's a book, or story, I would happily keep reading.

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  6. I could use some sunlight. The smog in the Salt Lake valley is getting a bit old.

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  7. I really enjoyed reading this! ...and cool picture to use as a prompt :)

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  8. Oh, David. You're going to write a book about that, aren't you. That's awesome.

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  9. I agree with Cassie. A sweeping bow to you, sir!

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  10. Great story! It's funny how quickly I forget what the sun looks like. It was sunny here yesterday and that feels like a century ago.

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  11. You are super talented David! Love your stuff!

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  12. Another fantastic example of your talent David. This is SO COOL! I love it. Very interesting to think of a world with no sun.

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  13. Mmmmm... I love writers that can create a "mood" around their words... you do that, friend. :D

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  14. Definitely needs expanding into a longer story...well done!

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  15. Neato! I'm not particularly good at flash fiction, so I appreciate it when I see in in others:)

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  16. That's awesome. I saw this this morning and couldn't help but let my mind wander on that picture as well. Wrote something way too fast, but it looked like too much fun to pass up. Just posted it on my blog.

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  17. Aww I love the wee Grandpa! Your story begs to be stretched out into a novel, David! :)

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  18. I loved it! You have got to be the master of the 300 word story. I've read a couple of these entries now (totally by accident) and it's so interesting to see how different everyone's take on the picture is.

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  19. I hope Opal finds hope!

    I loved reading this story. :)

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  20. This is more than a science fiction story, it's a philosophical warning.

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  21. Lots of fascinating background to this, I think! Loved it, David.

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  22. I really enjoyed reading this! It's very thorough in setting, using fabulous words to convey the world Opal lives in. I saw the picture over at Daniel Swensen's blog and wondered what people might come up with. You're story is original, and so interesting!

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  23. Great concept. Hard to choose between your replacement sun and JB Lacaden's fishing now.

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  24. I really love this, reminds me of that short story "All Summer in a Day" by Bradbury. If you've never read it, you should because you captured that same sense of hopeful hopelessness. Thanks for your kind words about my story too! :)

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  25. Speculative fiction or fantasy; I don't care what it is called I just know I love it.

    Great post.

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  26. wonderful, if melancholy story. wish i could remember the ya dystopian book i read as a kid where they had no sun. reminds me of this =)
    great job!

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  27. I can't imagine a life without sun, how tragic! Great story.

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  28. Great story to the picture! It feels like here at the moment...the winter goes on so long...much enjoyed!

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  29. i enjoyed it a lot

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  30. Thanks for the shoutout and the blog comment, David! I went and voted for you today. Good luck!

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  31. If there were no sun...I'd drown myself in the snow.

    That's morbid...

    Anyway. Great story man, loved it. When I tried to write mine, let's just say it almost ended up exactly like yours.

    -Jackson

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  32. Oh, this is so well done! This could really be a great lead-in - maybe it already is?

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